


Imitations of Lives Lived

by Kabal42



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BFFs, Happy Ending, M/M, Multiverses, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 20:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/654289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kabal42/pseuds/Kabal42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Loki threatens their world, Tony Stark and Reed Richards find a way to communicate with alternate universes. In another world, another Steve Rogers answers and a very unlikely friendship is begun. One that leads to old, buried feelings awakening and new ones flaring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imitations of Lives Lived

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whippy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whippy/gifts).



> Written for Whipbogard as part of the Cap-Ironman Winter/Holiday/New Years exchange. Whipbogard gave the most amazing prompt about MCU-Steve and 616-Tony being friends and bonding over pining for their respective others. So this happened. Thanks for the prompt and I loved writing this for you.  
> Thanks also to the lovely mods and to my betas, CalvinaHobbes and Elfflame.

It was all because of Reed's machine. The one that could look through dimensions. It had proven very useful from time to time. Knowing some of the divergences of the worlds and what they led to could be very convenient, other times just fascinating or thought-provoking. Such as knowing that if Tony had done what he'd often wanted and pursued Steve, the Civil War might not have happened at all. That would have saved so many people, possibly created a better world too. It had become one of Tony's regrets that he never had. Now, however, it felt like the time to do it had passed. Steve was back with Sharon, despite everything, and Tony, well, he was used to not having anyone regular. He was fine that way, except when he finally had an evening where he didn't drop off to sleep the moment he hit the pillow. It could get lonely then, but since it was rare, it didn't matter much. But the machine made him realize how deep those regret really ran.

Or maybe it wasn't the machine, but it was certainly instrumental. There was also the part where Thor's brother Loki appeared as a threat, and had a strange ally they had not heard about before. The Chitauri, a race none of them, not even their extra-terrestial allies, had encountered. In trying to figure out more about this new threat, Tony had spoken to Reed, who remembered seeing a world that had recently fought that exact enemy. The problem was that their war was past, they couldn't see it, and Reed didn't know any details, so they had to figure out a way to get information across without actually crossing dimensions themselves (a damn hassle, and getting back was always a problem).

The consequence was that Tony and Reed had to come up with something, and fast, which they of course did. Well, mostly Tony. Reed was the better scientist, but Tony was the guy who knew the most about programming, and what he made was essentially an instant messenger system that worked across dimensions. It had to be routed through Reed's dimensional viewer, of course, but it worked and it was, if he said so himself, pretty fantastic.

His initial contact had, of course, been to his own counterpart. It was the logical step. That world either had no Reed Richards, or there was no contact between their Tony Stark and Reed, so Tony made contact with himself. That way he figured he'd at least speak to someone who grasped what was going on.

The other Tony got it just fine. The problem was that his parallel self was an ass. Tony knew full well that a hell of a lot of people thought that about him, and it wasn't always entirely unfounded either, but this guy took obnoxious to a whole new level. He was also still drinking, which clearly didn't help, though he didn't seem to be as far gone as Tony himself had been. Or he wasn't yet, that was probably the more likely scenario. At any rate, while alternate-Tony (alt-Tony, as he'd come to think of him) completely understood what was going on and why and how, and even wanted to help, the two of them quickly concluded that their talks were not in any fucking way constructive. Which was when alt-Steve appeared on the scene.

That one was a surprise too, but in a different way. He was only recently woken, and as confused as Steve had been back in the day, and also a softer soul somehow. Tony didn't know how else to express it. He was every bit as competent as Steve, but something about him was simply unspoiled and, well, innocent. He was also very easy to talk to, which wasn't different. But something about that Steve reminded Tony of a lot of things. Like the way he and Steve had once been, before too many sorrows had marred them both, before their Civil War, before Tony had fucked it all up far, far too much. That Steve hadn't been betrayed by alt-Tony, hadn't died at the hand of someone he loved; his great loss and regret was mostly related to the things he'd left behind in 1944. To him, Tony's world represented a proof that he was able to adjust and live in the time he now found himself in, because in this world, he'd already done it. Perhaps because of that, Tony found himself wanting to help him as much as he could. It was the least he could do after alt-Steve's help meant there was no alien invasion and New York hadn't been destroyed as it had in his world.

Thus, what began as a series of brief chats in order to share vital information became something more. It grew into a routine, and a part of Tony's daily life he looked forward to. Talking to alt-Steve a couple of times a week was a much-needed break from everything else. Given the constant emergencies surrounding both of them, it wasn't all that often, but enough that Tony felt the connection was truly building, a friendship even more unlikely than the one between him and his own world's Steve. The odd part was that while he spoke easier with alt-Steve, he didn't at all feel the same way towards him as he did with the one in his own world, whom he still thought of as the real Steve. That something similar was true for alt-Steve became apparent one afternoon during one of those chats.

_Gold-Avenger: How're things on your side?_

_New-Avenger: Pretty good. We haven't been too busy the last two days. Of course that means your parallel number is conspicuously absent a lot of the time. Again._

_Gold-Avenger: Is that regret, Rogers?_

_New-Avenger: Sort of. I know you and he don't get along, and I will agree that he can be very frustrating to be around, but there is something lively and good about him, something that is missing when he is elsewhere. Does that make sense?_

To Tony, it made far too much sense, and it fed a longing that he usually buried deep in the pit of his stomach. Not just for the days before things got so complicated, when the Avengers lived together and he and Steve were only starting to be friends; no, there was a lot more to it.

_Gold-Avenger: Yes, it does. I hope he gets a clue._

_New-Avenger: Am I that transparent?_

_Gold-Avenger: No. I have unique insights. I bet no-one else would've picked up on what you just didn't say._

_New-Avenger: Are you saying you and my other self...?_

_Gold-Avenger: No. That's the problem. And believe me, a lot would've been better if we'd been closer, trusted more in each other. Perhaps even dared do more than that. But I doubt he'd be interested._

_New-Avenger: Really? I figured, I mean, he's been awake for so long and must be used to how people nowadays court each other. I thought if anything he would have done something about you by now._

Tony honestly wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry. Alt-Steve was, well, he was cute as hell in his confusion. It was tempting to see him as naive or even simple, but Tony knew far better than to do that. He was simply young, that was all. Alt-Steve was every bit as sharp as Steve.

_Gold-Avenger: He might not even know I'm interested. I'm fairly sure he doesn't want to do anything himself. How's my other self looking in that area?_

Although having this conversation was giving him a bit of hope, he still knew how alternate realities worked. The fact that alt-Steve was interested in alt-Tony didn't automatically correlate to Steve being open to anything with him. If it had been him in the other world, he'd have jumped alt-Steve's bones given a chance, even though he was young, so if his counterpart hadn't yet, maybe he was as straight as the real Steve. It wouldn't be the first time something like that had changed across dimensions.

_New-Avenger: I'm not certain. I believe he's had relations with men before, though it is mostly based on rumor._

_Gold-Avenger: So he's blind as well as stupid. What an ass... Maybe you need to make a move?_

_New-Avenger: I am not sure I want to. Darn, got to go. Alarm._

_Gold-Avenger: Go kick some butt. Talk to you later._

Tony sighed and leaned back in his seat. Talking to that guy was nice, perhaps too nice. It brought back things he'd tried his best to forget and ignore for years. In some ways he envied that Steve, but even more he envied that other Tony. The bastard didn't deserve a nice guy like that being all in love with him and not doing anything about it. If it had been him... He nearly knocked over his desk, jumping out of his seat. What if it had been? What if he'd just... not seen it? No. No, that was stupid. Steve had been on and off with Sharon from early on. No. It couldn't be. He was just projecting, all that reignited hope, stoked desires flaring up again. Perhaps he was simply confusing things, perhaps even carrying a bit of a torch for alt-Steve, simply for reminding him of the man he'd fallen in love with years before. He sank back down in his seat again. No, that wasn't it either, at least he didn't think so.

Yet, the thought didn't leave him over the next weeks, but kept knocking around in the back of his mind, presenting itself at the oddest times. Mostly when Steve was around, and these days they did see a good deal of each other.

\- - & \- - 

"Any plans tonight, Tony?" Jan called across to him, in-flight on their way back from a quick stop in Philadelphia to check out suspicious activity. Her tone was upbeat, the way it mostly was, but with a strain to it that told him she was trying to be extra super cheerful right now.

"If he's around, I promised the other Steve I'd watch a movie with him." He was already wondering what her plan was, because there had to be one.

"Aw. Isn't that a bit boring? Besides, you do that all the time now. Why don't you come out with me. I promised Jessica we'd go to a fancy cocktail place. Luke's babysitting."

Tony was honestly confused. "Why the hell would you want me around for that?"

"You've been so mopey lately. Brooding in the corners. Chatting with other-Steve instead of the rest of us. Honestly, Tony, I'm worried about you. You can't really go see him, you know. I mean..." Her sentence trailed off, possibly because Tony, who couldn't glare from behind the helmet, was growling at her.

"I'm not dating him, Jan. It's not cyber sex. It's a nice guy, too nice for his own good, lost in a world he doesn't understand, and I can help him just a bit, because I've done it before." If he sounded bitter, it wasn't entirely intentional, but it was there. "We owe them something in return and this is the best I can do."

"Oh, Tony..." She'd gone from perky to sad. "I guess I sort of hoped it was something more. For your sake. I know you haven't had much good in your life since – lately." At least she didn't say the name. Small favors.

"Well, as you say, it's not exactly realistic. Besides, he's a kid. He's... well he's a lot like Steve used to be, only perhaps softer. It's nice and uncomplicated to talk to him."

The shift in her expression showed with all clarity that she understood. Talking to Steve now was in fact very complicated indeed, and Tony regretted that fact deeply.

"You should still come out with us. You know the best places and people give you great service."

"Not to mention let me in without standing in line..."

Her cheeky grin told him he'd hit it spot on. "Well, there's that too. Come on, Tony. Please?"

He shook his head. "No. But thanks for asking. Here's a tip, though. Tell me where you want to go and I'll call ahead and ask them to take good care of you."

"Aw..." She mock-pouted. "If you don't, I'll ask Sharon instead. She's having singles blues again." It was supposed to be a threat, of course, but Tony wasn't biting.

"You do that," he said. He didn't even care to think about Steve's new status as single, because that meant thinking of the inevitable getting-back-together that followed Steve and Sharon's break-ups. It was only a matter of time.

"How do you even watch movies with someone in another universe?" Jan asked, nicely diverting Tony's thoughts.

"Line them up, click start at the same time and chat real time. It's simple. And so far, they've been the same for both of us, despite from that one time where we found out that in his world, Samuel L. Jackson doesn't exist, so his part in Pulp Fiction is played by Denzel Washington."

She laughed softly, which was something, at least.

Keeping his promise to Jan meant that he got a very drunk text from her in the middle of watching "Pirates of the Caribbean" with alt-Steve that night. It was very drunken and very happy and Tony considered that a small favor payed into another large hole of debts owed. He didn't tell that to alt-Steve, but he did tell him that he'd sent friends off for a good time.

_New-Avenger: So you placed a call and they could skip the lines?_

_Gold-Avenger: Yes. Being rich has its perks. Besides, I owed her a bit of a favor and showing her a good time seemed like a nice way to pay a bit of that back._

_New-Avenger: And the other has a small child, right?_

_Gold-Avenger: Right. So you know she can use the break._

_New-Avenger: I suppose so._

_Gold-Avenger: Regrets again?_

_New-Avenger: Some. But then, these are different times. What could have been and what will be are different things. And maybe that's not so bad._

_Gold-Avenger: Oh?_

Tony picked up a slice of pizza. Movie night with Steve meant comfort food and eventually talking about their lives. The parts they couldn't really talk to anyone else about, because everyone else was somehow involved. Odd as it might be, the only person Tony had ever felt he could talk to about how he really felt was this alternate Steve – and that feeling, at least, was mutual he knew.

_New-Avenger: Yes._

_Gold-Avenger: You sound cagey, Rogers Jr..._

_New-Avenger: Perhaps :-)_

_Gold-Avenger: Uh-oh, a smiley. Now I know something is up._

_New-Avenger: We're going out. Not, you know, anything big. Just... out._

For a second, Tony felt the raging tug of jealousy in his chest. He wasn't sure if it was for someone running off with his friend (especially that drunken fool) or because somewhere in the multiverse, Tony Stark would go on a date with Steve Rogers and it wasn't him doing it. It took him around ten seconds to get it under control, and then he wanted to slap himself. This was good. Especially for the alts, but in a way for him too. Apart from where he might lose his friend over this.

_Gold-Avenger: I'd warn you against him getting you drunk, but that's not a risk with you. So instead I'll warn you he'll probably be even less subtle when he's drunk. Might be affectionate too._

_New-Avenger: I don't think I'd mind that... Though, maybe... I don't know. Not subtle and affectionate makes me think I should try to plan for somewhere less public._

_Gold-Avenger: I knew you'd figure that one out. And here's my insight: You asked him out. Good on you!_

_New-Avenger: I did. I gave that one away with the planning, didn't I?_

_Gold-Avenger: Yeah. You did. Well done, though. I'm glad you bucked up and did it. I bet he will be too._

_New-Avenger: He actually shut up for half a minute when I did. Then smirked like you wouldn't believe and said yes and something about it being a pleasure that I have no idea how he made sound so lurid._

_Gold-Avenger: Other-me has less class, but honestly, I'm not sure I blame him for that one. When is it?_

_New-Avenger: Next Friday._

_Gold-Avenger: Wow. Good luck and all that. Tell me about it soon?_

_New-Avenger: I promise. Saturday :-)_

Tony would be there with bells on. Who knew, there might be tips he could get. And now he was getting his hopes up again. Getting sentimental in his old age.

\- - & \- - 

Just over a week later, Tony had set up the chat system again and was waiting. It was a little later than he'd usually look for alt-Steve, but things had come up. That was the good thing about being friends with a fellow hero: they tended to understand. Pretty much no-one else did. However, Steve hadn't replied to Tony's attempts to ping him, so he sat there, waiting, trying not to be bored and not be slightly jealous thinking of what might be keeping the guy.

He was doing something he rarely did, which was sit around idle, and to top it off, he was just goofing off online, which he honestly hadn't done in ages – and he wasn't even enjoying it. He blamed this for his defensive reactions.

"Are you chatting to my counterpart again?" Steve's voice came from behind.

Tony swiveled on the chair, taken by surprise, and was faced with Steve's frown. The look of disapproval that Tony really didn't think he'd earned just for having a friend in another universe. "I am. Waiting for some news from him that I hope is good."

"Oh?" Steve's eyebrows arched up. Tony ignored the question and turned back to the screen.

"Yes. Kind of private, though."

"I see." The sound of soft steps told Tony that Steve was approaching. He considered hiding both chat window and browser, but a little devil in him wouldn't let him. It was probably spurred by the nagging feeling that alt-Steve was in bed with alt-Tony, and that it should have been him and the man behind him. Whatever it was, Tony let Steve see it.

"Gold Avenger. Still using that old nick-name, huh?" The soft amusement in Steve's voice was one Tony would normally have welcomed; he so often missed the warmth between them. But not today.

"I figured I might as well. We needed something easily distinguishable and logical." He glanced up to see Steve less than a foot behind his right shoulder. "He's New Avenger because he just woke up. The other asshole is Red Avenger and you are First Avenger."

The surprised look on Steve's face was worth it. "You set one up for me?"

"Of course. I promised no secrets, right?" He had a lot of trust to earn back, he knew that. This was the least he could do.

The chat window chose that moment to blink.

_New-Avenger: Ah, there you are. Before you ask, it went well. You were right about him getting affectionate. It was actually very nice. All of it, even the kissing. If the two of you are alike in that manner, my opposite number is truly missing out. I hope you get a chance to show him. It is about time after all._

There was absolute silence in the room. It grew to a heavy, thick, tangible substance, not unlike tar, and just hung there, between them, spreading a sticky feeling that seeped into Tony's pores, aiming for his soul (if he had one). Somewhere, deep inside, a part of Tony rebelliously thought that it was good. There would be no more hiding his feelings. Of course he might well have to hide himself instead, or at least leave yet another Avenger team.

Steve's voice seemed to come from far away, slowly slicing through the silence. "No secrets... Except that one."

"Well, that one was personal," Tony muttered. "And has no bearing on anything we do."

"I'd argue, but in some manner I agree." There was another silence threatening to crawl between them and join its brother, then Steve continued. "Why don't you answer him? I'll just turn my back for now."

"You could just leave," Tony suggested. "You don't have to stand there and know this. You can go."

Steve gave a soft huff. "No way. There's talking to do, Tony. Very overdue by the look of it." His steps retreated a little and Tony wanted to sigh or groan but did neither. Instead he typed.

_Gold-Avenger: Great news! I really do want to hear all about it, but can it wait a little? Something kind of personal just came up. I'll explain as soon as I can. Okay?_

_New-Avenger: Of course. Will you be long?_

_Gold-Avenger: I doubt it._

This time he hid the window before turning around. "All right," he said in the direction of Steve's back. "So talk." He stood up, because at the very least he could face his old compatriot instead of having to look up like an errant child to a parent. His arms were crossed, and when Steve turned back, Tony saw the pose reflected in him.

"Maybe you should start." Contrary to his stance, Steve's voice was gentle, even sympathetic. God damn, he was going to try a 'let him down easy', Tony was sure of it.

"With what? You saw. My parallel self got asked out by your parallel self. They had a good date. I wish it had been us. End of story."

"How long, Tony?" Steve's voice was strange now and Tony didn't want to look at him. He did anyway. The frown was gone and his arms were relaxed.

"Years. I don't care to count." Tony wasn't letting his guard down that easily.

"Okay..." He did, however, have to look away from the very intense gaze Steve was leveling at him.

"Can I go back to congratulating the other guy now? And then get the hell out of here?"

The sound of the steps registered at the same time as he felt Steve's hands on his shoulders. "Tony, don't be an ass. Not about this as well. Yes, yes, talk to him. But first tell me if you'd like to go have dinner soon. And I don't mean like we used to, I mean like a date."

\- - & \- - 

_New-Avenger: So that was our third date. I gather from television that something more is supposed to happen after a third date, but since it happened on the second, we repeated instead. Your turn. What did you two do?_

_Gold-Avenger: :-D I like the sound of that. Not much we haven't done before. Dinner, talking... But some of the best talking we've done in a few years. I think we're mending some things and starting some new ones as well._

_New-Avenger: I like the sound of that. I suppose that much history can be a burden as well as an advantage._

_Gold-Avenger: I hadn't thought of it like that, but yeah, I think you're right._

_New-Avenger: Clean slates are easier, but I suspect also easier to wipe again._

_Gold-Avenger: Yes. That does make sense._

_New-Avenger: So what things did you do that you haven't before? If I may ask?_

_Gold-Avenger: You may. I don't know how much I'm comfortable telling since we don't exactly share details, that's probably for the best ;-) But if you're as good a kisser as my Steve, then that other guy is a lucky bastard._


End file.
